Thursday, December 18, 2014

Style Icons

This week I noticed that my style icon is indeed my home.
Whatever  neutral melange she wraps herself in, I will shamelessly copy.
We only differ when it comes to pattern, I  shy away from them clothes wise but adore Chinoiserie, palms and blowsy roses behind closed doors.
I think we find ourselves in what we surround ourselves and also wrap around ourselves. I've discovered that I'm like Switzerland - always neutral. 

Trust me, there are silver threads running through these tiebacks, I sent this dress back, the pattern befuddled my brain.

Over to you.

Sunday, December 14, 2014


In our house, Watch With Mother  quite often took the form of a Saturday afternoon sofa sprawl in front of a glorious technicolour  biblical epic. Salome, Cleopatra and  Bathsheba were the wasp waisted, sloe - eyed odalisques who hypnotised me with their undulatingly sensual glamour. 
It was at the tender age of 14 or so that  I saw my life's purpose  flash in front of me, "must become a biblical temptress" but alas,  I was missing just one thing, yes, just the one -  inky cedillas, well appointed eyebrows, all the better to arch imperiously as I ruled my dominion.
I have very fine hair and have been pencilling in my eyebrows since the age of 17, first of all with Rimmel, then latterly Mac but lo, a new brow servant has obsequiously burrowed into my affections. Step forward for your regal annointing, Armani brow maestro. It comes in little pot,  brushes on, looks entirely natural but best of all, you know the state eyebrows contort themselves into when you pull a tight jumper on and off? All mad Patrick Moore  et al?

Well, that doesn't happen. They stay in place and it is waterproof, so if you are a surfer or a wing walker allow me to introduce you to your new best friend.  

My other fine hair lifesaver is Louise Galvin's Sacred Locks treatment masque which I use as my regular conditioner, without it, my tresses which are curled  into submission every single day with hot irons and sprayed  rigid would resemble those weary sparse strands  atop a  rotting root vegetable. 

Friday, December 12, 2014

What Your Christmas Tree says About You.

Resident anthropologists.

We are in the midst of that most  revealing of rituals. I have gathered together the finest anthropologists, gotten them tipsy on gluwhein and feuerzangenbowle and prised from their befuddled but brilliant minds,  an exclusive extract from their soon to be published  paper on the cultural traits of modern Christmas decorating. 

1) Norwegian fir with lighted candles - hold the ouija board steady, Prince Albert is here!  If you are not HRH then you must handle the pyrotechnics for Kiss or you have an extensive rap sheet for arson.

2) Rustic - You think Botox is the devil’s work, you don’t drink, you don’t smoke, you eat clean,  you are bit like a Tory minister so we  can all  imagine the  sort of shenanigans you get up to behind closed doors. 

3) Scandi red & white - If Rudolf, Blitzen and Donner were ever looking for a hand hauling Santa’s sleigh you’d be only too delighted to put the bit between your teeth as you LOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVEEEEEEE Christmas. You trim yours whilst wearing a red and white onesie and an antler hair band.

4) Artificial white - You play The Blue Nile’s Tinsel Town in the Rain on repeat, Saturday Night Fever is your favourite film, Las Vegas is your favourite holiday destination and  Liberace is your style icon.

5)  Nordmann Fir & white roses:  Hmm sounds familiar; moving swiftly on chaps… 

6)  The Kitchen Sink tree: childhood bobbles, tinsel, chocolate Santas,  a sentimental roadmap of  all of your  Christmas days.
You are a warm hearted Mrs Claus for whom all children are nice, never naughty and have 'It's A Wonderful Life' playing on repeat.

Do remember, thieving baubles from others  and stuffing them into one's Launer  handbag  'for homesies' is frankly beyond the pale.